UNICYCLIST…
Was Following A Unicyclist With The Following Bumper Sticker:
Student Cyclist, Caution…One Seat…UniSeated…
I tried to obediently, simultaneously wobble, yaw and even pitch and roll as required and made sure I didn’t pass the 1-man class. I even looked back over the same shoulder an instant before as did he to let him know nothing was abnormal. Just keep your peace and pursue balance in your trailblazing life…
My figure 8s and even 3s launched me into retreading a reverie. I then and there reimagined about the origin of a conveyance no friend to the kickstand.
The way I was able to stay just yawds back was the following. I recalled my time as shipmaster when the ocean got heavy, I did the lean and lift. I’d lean to either port or starboard and lift the opposite leg to give me more weight to the other side. So, riding my European Espresso vehicle (1 cup equals 50 miles) I’d slide over just ever so slightly mid seat and do this as well. That way it raised the tires on either the right or left side allowing my now bicycle to mirror his unicycle, however off the tread beaten path he was…
The cycler then pulled into the Stand Still Carwash. I then myself desparked and parked allowing me to process the inspiration for the very unicycle. It was during the global exhibition in Paris where the Eiffel tower was going up and nearly complete. To promote it they issued key chains, surmising it might evolve into an industrially sized tuning fork, as the design likewise demanded they address the wind. This did invite an explored hostile takeover by a German instrument company, hoping at once to mutually tune in all of Berlin on those pianos, cellos, harps… The most obvious local guess for its creation was as a huge perfume vaporisateur whose cap at le top of the hour, tower would kindly mist Paris with the InSeineily wonderful scent. And lastly, gangs of rampaging, ranging plasterers and drywallers had to continually be fought off as they daubed, dabbed the framework hoping to see its drying completion. Oh, the pangs of creativity’s completion… But all their endeavors fell through as thru empty lattice work… Though the Un Cycle was no French invention it took Gallic Gallantry, in their typically tightrope walking way to improve upon its use. So, the French, envisioning the likewise tiny trinketed unicycle giveaway also proposed much larger dimensions and purposes. It was meant as ridden to beat countless eggs for a village souffle, or, to expertly outline and cut le crepe for those same thousands of provincials. After musing all this le Monsieur exited the carwash with both spikes and his braces expertly cleaned and gleamed…
And, for the L’Eiffel of me don’t know why the unicycle proposals never took off besides following this lame Pedaler fleetingly chasing his opposite wheel…
DANIEL HOLLORAN, AUTHOR OF: HE STICKETH CLOSER AND INDANDESCENCE
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